


sometimes life is long

by ElasticElla



Category: Swingtown
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, F/F, Multi, Susan-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 15:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17409260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: We’re across the street if you need us.Just breathe. Take care of yourself first.





	sometimes life is long

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Calliatra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calliatra/gifts).



> the summary lines & title from show dialogue  
> this is pretty much an ep 12 canon au, there are minor canon tweaks ie. trina’s pregnancy scare was a false positive and i had laurie leave the house a little earlier

_We’re across the street if you need us._

Trina’s told her that dozens of times, but tonight the words won’t stop echoing. She scrubs the floor harder, nearly has the house as clean as it was before the party. 

_Just breathe. Take care of yourself first._

Tom’s advice, rougher than she is used to and uncomfortably accurate, comes back. First herself, then her children. And Bruce… the briefcase got moved up to the table while she did the floors, a reminder. Bruce doesn’t need her. 

She scrubs faster, wrists aching and all she can smell is bleach and lemon. It smells more like Janet’s house than her own. And Janet, oh god Janet’s going to hate her soon. There’s a meager silver lining, more like aluminum, that at least Roger will be in Cincinnati. All temptation removed. It wasn’t fair to Roger, much less to Janet- she doesn’t even love him, loves the newness, the possibilities, the escape. 

Susan drops the brush in the bucket, the bristles worn down nearly halfway. Standing up slowly, legs aching, she stretches. Her eyes catch the clock and it’s already half past eleven. The briefcase looks all the more accusing, and the lights across the road all the more welcoming. 

Susan takes off her rubber gloves and leaves before her neighbors decide to turn in. (From experience both Deckers never seem to sleep before one, but tonight isn’t the night to be wrong.)

Five minutes later, she’s wrapped up in the softest blanket, Tom making a kettle of tea, and Trina holding her hand. The rain starts up softly outside, and it seems fitting. 

“He’s having an affair,” Susan confesses to her knees. “and he’s lying to my face, and the worst part is the lying.”

“Oh honey.” 

Susan sniffs, a brittle laugh escaping her. “Aren’t you going to call me a hypocrite? That I-I’m the same?” 

She looks up, half afraid, but Trina’s face is all compassion. “It was one kiss, right?” 

She nods, and Trina adds, “One kiss and you broke everything off. It’s not the same dear.”

Tom brings three cups of tea over, handing them out and saying, “She’s right. Trina usually is about this stuff.” 

Trina beams at him, and Susan’s heart aches. She takes a deep sip of tea, scalding her tongue and recognizing the flavor late. “Is this sleepytime?” 

Tom winks, “Got it in one. We can all use an early night.” 

And that sounds so much nicer than lying in bed awake, silently waiting and feigning sleep until Bruce returns. After tea, Trina brings her to her closet. She gives her a luxurious silk nightgown to wear, far longer than anything she’d imagine Trina wearing. She brings her to their bed, ‘just to sleep I promise’ with a sly smile, and then she’s between the both of them- simmering with heat and drifting off to sleep. 

.

Morning comes with sobering clarity, and Susan barely gets out her thank-yous before she’s running back to her house. Her children were alone, god, she’d never forgive herself if anything happened to them. 

Home again, she remembers Laurie left to send off her far too old boyfriend. (May she find one closer in age while he’s away.) Peeking into Junior’s room, he’s safe and sound, snoring up a storm. Relieved, she goes to her own room next, unsurprised that Bruce isn’t there. 

She catches herself in the mirror, in Trina’s deep purple silk, giggling as she realizes she never got properly dressed before coming back. The laugh is edging on hysterical, her eyes watering, and only the knowledge of BJ a few doors down keeps her quiet. Her life is a right mess. 

It’s her grand luck that this is the moment she hears Bruce’s car pull up, changing into the first daydress she can find. It’s the teal one she hates- always cute when donned, and then indecent an hour later, dipping too low. Far too late now though, she rushes downstairs to avoid any conversation happening near Junior. Kid’s too young to be overhearing any of their fights, it’s bad enough what Laurie suspects.

. 

Bruce is yelling. 

Loudly enough that she’s surprised none of the neighbors have showed up, loudly enough that they both know there’s only one way for this to end. He pauses for breath, face beet red, and this is it. 

Calm, quiet and clear, Susan says, “All we have is history, I’m not going to live in the past anymore.”

Bruce deflates like she knew he would, still angry, but his volume back to normal. “Fine. You want a divorce? Fine. BJ’s his father’s son, he’ll stay with me, and Laurie- you have fun with that.” 

“Because you know so much about raising children,” she can’t help but say. 

He snatches up the briefcase, his free hand forming a fist. “You’re not taking my children from me. And no judge would give them to an unemployed _woman_ like you.” 

He’s probably right, the bastard, and spite bubbles up her throat hot, spits out, “I never loved you, why do you think I wanted an open marriage?”

It doesn’t matter that it’s a lie, that Bruce logically knows it’s nearly impossible. Eighteen years with a person, you know their weak spots, how to exploit them. She never had to, never wanted to, before.

He doesn’t answer, storming out. 

The door rattles on its hinges, and Susan sighs, turning around. That’s when she spots BJ at the top of the stairs, biting his fist and crying. Their eyes meet and he scampers off to his room, slamming the door behind him. So much for keeping it from their youngest. 

Susan goes to the kitchen, making up two mugs of hot cocoa. If she’s entering Junior’s raw territory, she’ll be armed with bribes. 

.

Talking with BJ doesn’t go great, but when Laurie comes home that talk goes almost unnervingly well. She packs up all of her stuff- well all of the necessities. Clothes, jewelry, toiletries. It all fits in one, oversized and ready to burst, but still just one, suitcase. 

If it was the beginning of the summer, she’d go to Janet. With or without Roger there though, she can’t. She can’t go to a motel, Bruce would freeze the card to force her hand. Her family is too far, she wants to still see her children daily. 

Maybe… maybe she could get a small job, just enough to cover a room and food. It wouldn’t work in the long run, but-

There’s a familiar knock on the door, and Susan smiles. Yes, a fresh perspective and a few cocktails, and they’ll think up a new plan for her. 

.

“Move in with us.” 

Her eyes go wide, “Oh I couldn’t impose-” 

“No really,” Trina interrupts. “You’d be doing me a huge favor. I get so lonely with Tom gone. Have you not noticed how often I come to you during his flights?” 

Susan flushes, “It’s too much, with the kids-”

She shakes a hand, “Bring them too. I never wanted to be a mother, but once they’re already grown up? That I can get behind.” 

She bites her lip, “Are you sure? Do you want to talk to Tom first?” 

Trina rolls her eyes, “Darling, it’s my house. How about you stay for a few days to test it out, I’ll talk to Tom once he’s home, and we’ll go from there.” 

The world feels possible again and Susan would kiss her if it weren’t for their history. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Trina pulls her in for a tight hug, “And you’ll never have to find out.” 

.

The separation is easier than it should be. She sleeps better with Trina and sometimes Tom, warm and cuddled all night. The kids adore the Decker’s house- Junior for the large television and Laurie for the upstairs library. Cooking with Trina is fun, she might still be terrible at it, but she’s always eager to learn and try over. She starts joining Trina on her morning jogs, because Trina can make anything magical- even greeting all of their neighbors by name and asking after their lives. 

They swim, dance, paint- whatever mood strikes them, they go with. It feels like an extended vacation, and only Tom talking about a second flight possibility reminds Susan that she needs a plan for the future. 

Tom doesn’t seem to share her concerns when she corners him one night. 

“Listen, anything that makes my wife happy- I want in our life. And you make Trina happy when I’m not here. It’s as simple as that Susan.” 

She swallows, emotions thick in her throat. “You’ll tell me if that changes?” 

He smiles, patting her shoulder. “We both know you’d know. But sure.”

“And the kids?” 

“Oh no,” Tom starts gravely, “they have to stay. I finally found a person who can challenge me at Pong!” 

Susan laughs, eyes damp, “Okay.” 

.

Bruce sees the kids a few times in the neighborhood, doesn’t push for them to come home or visit more often. It becomes obvious why one morning, Susan and Trina on their regular jog when they spot Bruce helping Melinda move in. 

“Well that didn’t take long.” 

“You wanna go back inside?” Trina asks. 

“No.” 

“Egg his car?” 

Susan laughs, “No- let’s finish our run.” 

Trina grins, “Excellent. Pam should be out today, she makes the _best_ lemonade.” 

“We better work up a sweat then,” she says thoughtlessly, nearly shivers at the way Trina suddenly looks at her. An old memory bringing about a hot flush. 

“Yes, we shall,” Trina purrs. 

.

The following morning there’s divorce papers on the step. Laurie recognizes them on the kitchen bar before Susan can cover them, distracted by the burning french toast. And her eldest child trying to sneak some berries before they’re added to breakfast. 

“Those are for the toast!” Susan exclaims, scrapping off the burnt attempt. 

“Hmm, that can’t be right,” Trina murmurs as Laurie says, “So you and Dad- you’re definitely not getting back together?” 

The question hits her like a punch to the gut, and she tries and fails to keep her voice normal, “I don’t think so honey.”

“Thank god.” 

“Laurie!” 

“Atta girl,” Trina says, winking and tossing her a strawberry. 

Laurie grins, biting into it. “Sorry but you both seem much happier now. It’s a good thing.” 

“Yeah… it is,” she admits. 

“Mhmm,” Trina agrees as Susan cooks the next one. “Breakfast should be ready in ten, wake your brother?” 

Laurie nods, snatching two blueberries before running upstairs. 

Susan shakes her head with a smile, “Instilling bad habits.” 

Trina laughs, “But of course. Forbidden fruit and all that.” 

.

“SUSAN!” 

She rushes downstairs recognizing an angry Janet instantly, and expecting the next words to be followed by a slap. 

“You charlatan! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you and Bruce are getting a divorce.” 

Her brain stalls as she comes to a stop before Janet, “I… sorry? I thought it’d be awkward with uh-”

“Oh, come here!” Janet says, pulling her into a hug. “It’s sweet of you to be concerned because Roger’s gone, but really it’s hardly the same thing. You’re going to be a divorcee! I suppose it’s a good thing you didn’t join the Ladies Auxiliary, that would be so odd now. How are you doing? Are the kids alright? Rick said BJ’s doing well, but you know Rick.” 

Susan laughs, relieved. “Good, they’re really good. I’m glad you’re here.” 

And just like that, Janet starts visiting every Thursday after work and Sunday afternoon. Something must have happened between Trina and Janet, because they’re beyond cordial now, actually friends. Whatever it was, Susan’s thankful, hopes it lasts.

.

On the kids’ first day of school, she and Trina get up early to make their lunches before the morning jog. Tom stays in bed late, as he usually does unless there’s a flight involved. 

Laurie and BJ bike to school with their lunches, and her and Trina go for their jog. She can actually keep up and talk now, an improvement to keeping up and communicating limited to nods and shakes or deliberately stopping to chat and tying her shoes all the time. Trina definitely knew, too nice to say anything about it. 

“The Davises are hosting a viewing party Saturday,” Trina says as they make the final stretch. 

Susan focuses on the Decker house, doesn’t let her eyes wander. “Oh? What about?” 

“The Fourth Annual Gay Conference is starting. It’s up in Toronto, but Sylvia pulled some strings- it’s the first year Brad isn’t attending.” 

“...I see.” 

“You don’t have to come, if you wanted to spend the night with your kids everyone would understand.” 

She huffs, too tired to laugh as they reach the blessed inside with air conditioning. “No I want to go. I just want to know more about the world, about whatever issues this conference will be about first. Does that make sense?” 

“Of course,” Trina says, patting her shoulder. “I’ll go rinse off and then we can discuss over brunch, how’s that sound?” 

“Perfect,” Susan answers with a smile. 

.

Susan takes the second shower, blushing as she remembers Trina’s casual invitation to her own last week. 

_You’re welcome anywhere in the house dear, saving water with me is always on the table._

There was a glorious moment from the first time, the men passed out and Trina suggesting they save water together. How very soft and sure Trina’s hands were, how clever her tongue could move. She’d never- so fast or so many times; it was as if over one evening Trina had already mastered how to play upon her body. Susan burns hotter as she recalls the memory, and turns the water to cold. 

She has things to do today. 

.

Getting dressed, she hears faint voices downstairs, finds Janet crying into Trina’s shoulder. Trina nods her over, and she sits on Janet’s other side. 

“Hey, what’s-”

With a sniffle, Janet lets go of Trina, spins around to her, and clutches her tight. 

“T-the _bastard_ \- he, he said he’d come home on the weekends he could to see me and Rick. That he knew how important Chicago was to me, and with the new job we could have one house and a small apartment in Cincinnati.” 

“Mhmm,” Susan hums, and Trina somehow looks both sincerely concerned about Janet and amused that Janet’s now crying into her shoulder instead. 

“I got a small bonus at the paper, and I thought I’d surprise him with a nice dinner and see the new place. A miniature housewarming. I even took today off so I could send him off to work like before.” 

“That sounds nice,” Susan says. 

Janet sighs, “I was going to make his favorite roast, you know the one with carrots and onions and garlic?” 

“Blue ribbon winning,” Susan adds for Trina’s benefit. 

“I go to his apartment first, so I know how big the oven is- and-,” she swallows, “it’s already being warmed! The apartment is just toasty with his college fling living there.” 

“Oh Janet, I’m so sorry.” 

“H-he said he loved me but I don’t make him happy. And _Wendy_ does, has been living there the whole time. She didn’t even know he was married! The philandering- philandering…” 

“Scum?” Trina suggests. 

Janet sits up with an almost smile, wiping her face, “Yes, scum.” 

The door opens, Tom joining them with a bag full of ice cream. “How are we feeling? Any better Jan?”

She nods, “Getting there, thank you.” 

“Good. Strawberry for you,” he says, handing over the pint and a spoon.

Janet’s eyes go wide, “The whole thing?” 

“As much as you want,” Trina says, grabbing her own cherry-coconut. 

“You were in the shower, so I went with chocolate,” Tom says, handing Susan hers. 

“That’s great, thanks,” Susan says, digging in. 

“And butterscotch for me,” Tom finishes, sitting with a huge grin.

Morning turns to afternoon, Janet leaves with a real smile, intent on reorganizing her house. Susan hugs her goodbye, can’t quite swallow down the guilt. There’s no use in telling her now, but she still feels horrid about it. 

.

Wednesday morning, Trina’s hungover and Tom has an afternoon flight. That morning he teaches Susan how to make the perfect bloody mary, the bar covered in glasses and a few pitchers by the time they’re done. 

“You’re back Friday right? I can move into the guest room for then.” 

Tom puts the tomato juice back in the fridge, “You can if you want. I thought you were sleeping better? Did something change?” 

Susan flushes, Trina must have told him. “I am but- I don’t want to get in the way of you and Trina.” 

Tom laughs, “Thoughtful of you, but we’ve been using the playroom more and the shower. She loves that shower.” 

“She does,” Susan agrees absently, before realizing what she said. 

He smiles, “Really though, it’s nice having you there and only using the bed for sleep. It’s really relaxing.” 

“If you’re sure…” 

“And I’d really hate to cut back on the shower sex,” he adds, wriggling his eyebrows. 

Susan giggles, “Alright.” 

.

The Davis party is _huge_. 

Viewing the convention itself is inside only, four different screens and rooms set up to fit everyone if need be. The real party is outside, tables of food and drink, some low music playing, and an outdoor dancefloor. Laurie insisted on coming, wanted to talk to people about the conference as it happened rather than watch alone. She grabbed a glass of water, plopped down on an empty couch in front of a tv, and hasn’t moved since, riveted. One of Sylvia’s nieces joined her, and as they sparked up a good-natured debate, Susan went back outside. 

An hour is about her limit of political talk, and she needs a stiff drink. She’s intent on finding Janet and some vodka, not necessarily in that order, when Trina waves her over. It had been a surprise to see Janet here until she learned Janet was here with Henry, and Henry brought his boyfriend. 

“You must promise not to make excessive noise. Imagine we are watching a very flighty deer, and stepping upon a crunchy leaf will make it bolt.” 

Susan raises an eyebrow, “Okay?” 

Trina smiles, “Good, dance with me.” 

Susan nearly laughs as Trina leads her to the group of people dancing, hands warm on her hips. “I don’t see what’s so dramatic about dancing?” 

Trina moves closer, lips brushing her earlobe as she whispers, “Look left.” 

And Susan nearly stops dancing at the sight: Harry Reems spinning Janet around. She hears a single sentence, ‘Dear Janet, you’re the star now’, before his voice lowers. 

“Oh my,” Susan breathes, and Trina brings them to the opposite side of the dancing group, out of sight. 

“How fortuitous that they were both here,” she says airily. 

“You little matchmaker,” she accuses with a grin. 

Trina shrugs, fingers sliding up and down her back, “Sylvia helped. Hamburg should be speaking soon, inside?”

“Yes, drinks first though.” 

Trina laughs, “Of course darling, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

.

Susan starts thinking of the Decker house as home, and everything slots into place. Janet still comes over Thursdays and Sundays. Some Sunday mornings Tom joins her at church first, says you can’t fly around in a metal bucket all day without believing in a higher power. Tom’s only home a third of the time, the additional route fell through. Trina and Susan spend their days together, try knitting for one week, try pottery and add four lopsided bowls to the cabinet, and another week they volunteer at the children’s hospital and actually interact with the children. 

They keep jogging in the mornings, every once in a while Trina reminding her the shared shower invitation is open. It makes her blush every time, and every time she wonders _why not_ a little more.

One sweltering May morning, Susan takes it. 

.

“Oh god, what about Tom?” Susan asked the second she stepped in the shower, the thought hitting her slow. (Faster than last time at least, and she quashes that horrible thought. Janet is happy now.) 

Trina smiles, and Susan fights to keep her eyes up, “Tom gave me permission ages ago, he knows how I feel about you.” 

Susan bites her lip, blood thrumming in her ears, “And how is that?” 

Trina steps closer, laces their fingers together. “I love you.” 

And Susan’s heart could explode from happiness, pressing a dozen kisses upon her lips. “I love you too.” 

.

The new normal comes fast, turns out some change is easy. Some change doesn’t even feel like much change at all. Susan and Trina have sex when they want to, often after a disastrous new hobby attempt or after their morning jog. There’s a new easiness to how Susan interacts with Tom, close friends in love with the same girl. 

In November, they plan a road trip to the National Women’s Conference down in Houston. Laurie is stuck in her east coast college, so very jealous that she can’t go. (Coretta Scott _King_ is going to be there mom!) Junior is staying with his father, and Rick is with them too. Sylvia can’t get the days off work, and Brad is flying in for the last two. 

Susan, Trina, Tom, Janet, and Harry all pile into Tom’s new convertible, tunes going and top up for the first half of the drive. Once they hit the Mason-Dixon, the weather should be warm enough to drop it, and they’re all looking forward to a little vacation from the oncoming winter. The back seat is tight with Susan, Trina, and Janet, but Susan doesn’t mind having Trina half in her lap, holding her hand. 

The five of them are all happy, and Susan can’t imagine anything better.


End file.
